Relax about the relaxing...

 Race day came and went without a problem.  There is relief in my head while I typed that.  I gave up running a week before(a certain 2 yr old lost my treadmill key)  I thought for this big of run I'd have issues, or just not run the whole time? Lets face it I'm not a runner, liked it when I was younger but that was decades ago.

I ran last week with Andrea for approx. 10 mi. just to see where we were at as far as time, and training. I won't lie I had trauma going down 5th west in Provo and that made me worry my knee would not carry me down Provo Canyon for 13.1 mi.!!  So with no running the last week, I assumed I was good to go.

Its not everyones' dream to wake at 4 am for a run that don't start until 9am, but alas here we were Andreas great husband got up and fixed us breakfast, which I was surprised stayed down(I perform on empty better).  I won't lie it was cold, all I had on were my shorts, a tank top and jacket. Less is best, I didn't carry anything with me except my phone and ipod.  We waited in a tent full of 3,000+ runners, some may have been outside, late, etc..  I left Andrea at the start, she wanted to see if she could beat her time from last year, so I went in the second wave.

After mile #2 I thought "I can get another knee if I need one, hell with the going easy" and took off!! I felt great no knee issues.  I ran and kept thinking I've got to catch up with Andrea at some point, she wasn't that far ahead of me and the pace I was keeping could prove that I could catch her.  I did unfortunately, for her :(  She'd been struggling with a foot problem and she was walking it off when I caught her, so I walked for a few(mistake, worth fighting for) I stopped and put my cute arm warmer on(knee brace) just the stopping was enough to make its presence known.  We thought we could sprint to the finish, it was only 2 mi away? Wrong she stopped and I felt bad I just kept running saying catch up I'm not that far ahead.  Next thing I know she was no where to be seen, I'd left her, behind.  I came in the finish with a strong sprint around the people who were giving up just because it was the end??? Who gives up 200 yd from the finish line? I don't..  My end time was 2:13 with a 10 min/mil pace.  I'm glad I chose to challenge myself and next up is a Full Marathon, but will be doing this race again!! Loved running the canyon with nothing to worry about.

why won't she leave me alone....

I should probably see a psychiatrist or something? Or maybe I should plain have her committed!! Every day I'm reminded of her, what she did, why she hates me, etc..  When everyone else is around she leaves.  "It's not you, its me."

This is all Morgan if you did not know. I made my run short and sweet today and when she saw me she says,"mom she made pee on the floor!"  So I promptly follow her for I don't know why?(all floors are wood or tile), and there it is it like Lake DID, all over the bathroom floor!  For nothing she ever does lately is her fault its always the other girls fault?  Standing like a boy ON the toilet peeing on the walls, while running away from who knows what, etc..  I love it, wouldn't change a thing about it cause who knows how long she'll be here, or  maybe she really has another personality hiding out and I'm just in denial.  I like denial, it helps me cope with her day to day weirdness.


So there you have it, if you ever get to see her other side, your super lucky, I'm still waiting?  (and tell her she gets to clean up her messes from now on.)

Its all in the Depends

I am so nervous for so many things to go wrong in October.  When I look at Facebook updates(usually in the morning and then afternoon) I see something like this:

I  may look like this while running

So I think this is what will be left of me when done? I see other pictures and my stomach starts turning, my head hurts, and I just want to mess my drawers.  What have I got my self into? I can't run without feeling like my insides don't agree with what I'm doing. Running with food not a good idea either



But on a serious not I have not taken it seriously enough.  I'm not doubting my capabilities to run said race.  I mean I did 2 - 100 mile bike rides with no preparation and survived both.  Asthma is under control, feel good when I do run, but that is not enough.

I'm on the hunt for a better stroller, so that I can run with my beast after I drop kids off at school or, if necessary run with the bunch after school, while they ride bikes.  If bike training were to help with running training I'd be fit as a fiddle.  Hey at least its all down hill right? I run better that way naturally so maybe there's one thing in my favor.

Bedroom Make-over

Its a slow post coming, but kids are preoccupied with each other I can sit down and do this. So realistically there are going to be no before pics, cause lets face it who wants to look at my pre messy white room? Moving on: I paint by myself therefore it actually gets done, so no during either:(  On my quest to find color for my room I found this great rug



(which now adorns my living room perfectly)

So onto the bedding I love a great 'steal of a deal' at The Village Quilt Shop. They now know me by name. I was in love with a great duvet but @ $279 I had to walk away until I found my peace.



the pillows are out of sort for this one
they are supposed to be sitting square.



don't mind this its just a giant bed bug



the wall color is Dolphin? by Behr

 My total cost was $ 79 - Quilt
                             $ 50 - Pillows (all 5 colored)
                             $ 30 - Floral Euro shams/pillows at IKEA
Now I'm still finding things for the walls and have my heart set on making shelves. And my crib bench might just find its home in the corner, Stay tuned for that one. I might just put up my base boards by myself this weekend, we'll see?

Can we say Remodel!!! Like yesterday???

So this bathroom of ours has not been our luck of the draw. It was painted once after Cailey, then sanded before Whitney, then painted again within weeks. ONLY to be primed and left 'as-is' for the better half of 4 yrs?? Yes its gross even for me. No matter what we do, or don't, it don't matter its the same as it never will be....

Until after I discover this little trick this afternoon prior to decided to give it the 'third times a charm'? Yes this is my paint/drywall peeling off everywhere. I called the husband and told him and we have officially decided it will all come out. So we will finally get a bathroom of 'my dreams'???

this is what my hopes are for the new look:

Just with dark cabinets and no paneling on the wall, just painted.

We'll see when its done along with the basement.

From nothing to something

I thought we had escaped cold/flu season with flying colors? No one got sick, we did not have to do doctors visits. Until now! We had Morgan in the emergency last month, then Tegan with an extremely large Lymph gland(that we thought was going to be surgery) only time will tell what it does now, then Casey to InstaCare for what they diagnosed a Respiratory infection, and then we will end the week with Whitney. Today she had a visit to find out the sore throat is not what the neighborhood has, it is Tonsillitis.

Here's to hoping our 2 wk vacation (out of state) will go smoothly. I hate unfamiliar hospitals, towns, etc...

More Thoughts

Is it still bad if I'd not done what was done, but had been a nag person to person until it came down to making a phone call like I'd done? I feel like it could not have a happy ending without someone thinking an invasion of personal privacy has been violated. I just can't help thinking the rest of my family will suffer for MY actions even though they had nothing to do with it?

More help please!! I had also stated that I did not want un-named neighbor kids in my house because they go through my food pantry, freezer, etc... Eat all my snacks for my own kids and then act like no harm has been done. Do I owe any more of an explanation to said kid's, parents? Am I justified to have rules governing my own home and who has presence here? Who can freely raid my home for there own sugar gain?

I am not out to 'Get' my neighbors, for any reason. Though some may think otherwise if they know all details. That's fine, I have never been a follower/leader of friends. I come off more rough than 80 grit sandpaper. I am me, I try to meet/make new friends but in the end it's more that I have to say I'm a mere acquaintance than anything more. I like quiet, no drama(this weekend not proving so), just enjoy life. I guess maybe I am being harder on myself than necessary? That's how I am and how I argue myself to see the other sides view on my actions. It looks like I will have the rest of my life to get it right and get this 'UgLy' out of me and mind my own business even when I don't see it so. So for now I guess I dodge the neighbor or just go about my life? It could be worse and I could let my bottled up anger out, or they could have a multiple family nightmare living by them?

I'm SoRry, I'm Sorry, I'M SORRY to whom finds out the details and thinks I'm just evil. I will say it over, and over but it will probably not be enough. I guess I'm done rambling my issues, if I bore you or make you mad let me know or stop reading.